Manipulate the flames of hope

Saturday, November 29, 2008

ha~ college has been taking toll on me with assignments lately~ = =
Just a few more weeks till 2nd sems over then it's holiday for me!...then that's when we all seperate as well T T *sigh* well anyways i really dunno the plans during the holidays as yet but i'll be posting up soon. But so far~ the plans are:-
-Fire dance performance Dec 13th. probably nightime. (Only can invite a few...unless you have your own transport to UM university and back home as well. Not sure if entrance is free as well or not. will exquire more about this.
-a random fire dance at bab's place for a few people. (anyone's invited =D)
-Miki's b'day party
-Late supper again >D
-spamming the free entrance to lagoon
-more to come i bet.

so anyways, I've been playing around with photoshop and even if i'm no pro in it, I love using photo shop XD way better than Illus in time consuming to produce good quality work n the process. As proof, here's some work i've done.

this is the assignment where we have to design our name, nickname or initials to be more general. So here was what i came up. XD nice?? lol i MIGHT be designing my other nicknames as well since I've got the feel to play around with graphics. But the top initial...plan to design a better one =p

oh and here's the assignment we have to design a theme out of red, green and blue. My sis did money is the root of all evil...have to agree with her =p. and mine is elements...simple = =. too simple actually. but except the calligraphy lines, i rally like how it turned out.

the phantom of The One Academy! XD oh with my Bankai mask. lol

Taken while I was half awake...cool =D "oh sleepy~...cam-whore!" I this kind of poses.

photoshoped XD

lol Hua Yuan doing a bad imitation of a terrorist XD thing is the scraf looks like a Middle Eastern one and a cross?? lol a great mix of religions. A Buddhist holding a cross, dressing up as a muslim XD. correct me if i'm wrong here.

Howe loving the cross. Thing was that he don't know how to pose with the cross. so Evil (many should know who he is XD) told him to pose like this. not bad at all

and here's me sewing! OMG. Had to bring the machine to college for my group project and it was HEAVY. but managed to steal some black thread from Elain XD lol

oh yea. practices the firedance performance yesterday with glowsticks. btw glowsticks once broken, can only last 6 hours tops. 7 if you're lucky. but u know what? mine lasted for 20 hours straight without microwaving or freezing it! COOL!

played with fire at
11/29/2008 08:30:00 AM

Friday, November 21, 2008

a few happenings have gone by lately. achieved another step to understanding my 'energy' already...although i have to give it a better name for it...sounds cheesy. So name suggestions!! LOL! another highlight is that I'm reading a book now and for the very first timein my life, I'm not getting bored of it!! OMG! what's wrong with me! lol made a lil positive change to me about my perspective of my sorroundings. So to the lot of you that is reading this blog, I have a few words for you. Sorry and do forgive me of all my wrong doings! I was an immature brat then!

On to more stuffs~ Had unsual nightmares and dreams that just don't make sense...what's wierd is that normally they would make some sense to an extent that I can actually interpret them but lately...its just different from the dreams i always have =/.

Beside's that, I have also been blacking out lately...not due to the lact of sleep but something else. Not to sound wierd really~ I've been in worse conditions and longer and have never experienced anything like a blackout before. Thing was that I actually blacked out while chatting online! Was chatting with Howe and Kok Kin and what brought me back was when Howe replied, asking what I was typing...have no clue what I did...lol. Next day, blackedd out in class as well, had Wai Kwan to bring me back tho...Thanks XD but likewise, it isn't because of my lack of sleep~ XD and 3rd time was while I was in the bus to summit. Something's wrong with me...lol~ XD

Well then, another event happened...lol~ went out for a not-so-late supper with Howe to somewhat cheer him up...but doubt I was any help tho...sorry bout that = =". Well what else? Oh Wednesday~ was having lunch with Miki and Kok Kin at one of the vege restaurant beside Chola Spice. Thing was that we were talking about relationships and wha tnot, then I was telling my share of horrible parts of my love life, Miki just made a damn funny expression of the not-attractive-at-all girl that confessed to me in a lame way back in Sedaya(hell prison)...if I only had my camera then DX lol! ketawa sampai perut pun sakit sial! XD lol~

Well Thursday, here goes.

Miki definitely had the pleasure of destroying my work!! She added arms to my Rocket Punch woman!

And then today~

Miki DID say she wanted to have the mask look like a Hollow mask so here it is. A hollow posing for the camera XD

The other Hollow having fun with the mask XD kinda like the pic tho~

pose 2.0

BANKAI! cha-ching!

OH even though u said nevermind, sorry Miki!

On the way back home, I actually saw a HUGE flock of crows flying in huge a circle around the SS15 area. Everyone of them. They were still more gathering and the time i was passing by, it was already 60-80 plus already there. That was when my scar started reacting again...and the heavy hearted feeling came in again = =...sounds too naive of me? can't blame me for what I have now can I?

played with fire at
11/21/2008 06:10:00 AM

Friday, November 14, 2008

10 days since my last post and lotsa stuff been happening lately. haih~ where to start?

well for startes, Miki, Howe, Licia, Ivan n I rollerbladed over at Sungei Wang...uhh sorry Ame, couldn't invite u again...last minute plan again~ aii. It was a fun day afterall but looking at the price, if i'm no member at the rollerblading area, I'd rather ice skate since the student fee's sheaper there. So yea it was nice to rolerblade again since my own rollerblade's all the way at the end of the store room = =. Oh yea, after that, while walking on the way back to the bus stop, the twin towers weren't twins for a few moments XD lol~ I've got proof...LOOK BELOW!

There my solid proof

zzz~

family photo!

Oh yea, random poll. Do I look better with or without glasses?

look at the straw!! XD *clap* *clap* *clap*

hihihi~ smiley!

NO! GREEN TEA!! kill dat foodstuff vacuum! XD

haha~ this is the wolf Miki drew on me a few days ago. I kinda like it XD was way better than Howe's red clifford anyways XD

Oh plans for sem break, well I've been thinking of a few plans already since sem break will be for another 3 weeks soon = = then we'll be seperating
T T...anyways here are the non-solid plans

- Late supper~
- Langkawi trip or Melacca trip (really thinking) a day or 2
- work my ass off as a student helper at college = = (doubt it but i think anyone can come join me XD)
- abuse the free entrance to sunway lagoon
- probably sungei wang again or have lunch at the McD at Kl tower(Since it's the highest McD in stated in the world record XD)
- firedance summore~ (who wanna watch? stay overnight at my place if it's too troublesome to go back home..if my mom allow that is)
- probably rockclimb again after months of not climbing @ @

So who wanna come? just message me online or by phone.I'll see if whoever calls can come or not...lol~

played with fire at
11/14/2008 04:22:00 AM

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

A blog's for crapping about on what you feel right? lol~ i've never been good in a whole lot of things...Well for starters, I've never really thought heving relationships with anyone, although I have had a few crushes here and there, and yes I do kinda have feelings for someone at the moment but likewise, timing isn't right and it won't be for a long time...well I do know that i like her but just the fear of relationships I've seen and heard just scares me. plus this "curse" also, might put her in harm's way and worrying about my family is already bad enough...not to say that it CAN harm anyone else besides me but there were some happenings which still weren't solid enough that I could actually do somthing about it if I really put in enough effort...weather in negative or positive stuff...and so I don't want to have an addition to the number. So there are still a number of things that I have to take control before I actually start a relationship...sounds lame but yes I'd rather be called lame then have something bad happen then considering the change that thing is happening in me already.

A part from that, my other problems I still haven't face yet is the fear of friendship. Well as you all know, I never had any good experience in Sedaya at all.

When I first started secondary school, I had a really bad start not knowing that most people in my badge were all popular-wannabes. So I ended up following my sister like I was her shadow. When she left school, I really had big problems dealing with the new people cause obviously, they just turned up being the followers of those 'popular' group. So I can say I was alone the whole way from form 3 to form 5~ During those 3 years, I thought I developed a very small number of friendships like one of this senior of mine. lol He really was good at backstabbing people and keeping a mask in front of everybody. Like I mentioned before in the previous posts, he did mentioned that I was one of his close friends...back then, I really believed it...thinking now, who in the right mind would call someone they RARELY talk to the previous year, and then the first 2 weeks of school of the year after that, a close friend...cause for me, calling someone a close friend, at least get to know them real well, then a least a few months or more if you have to, then you can consider someone a close friend. this? call me a close friend then ditch me for god-knows-what reason you have.

Thing was, when I came to college, I happen to meet someone that knew him as well...aih~ what luck = =. He was okay...then he stoped college and then arranging meetings that he inconveniently have to cancel at the very last minute, and then miss call me, and never reply to my messages at all = =..wasted a few credits there.

So from there I started to develop this kind of 'gap' for anyone who's a stranger and anyone whom i just met and not close with. It's not that I want to but it's like an automatic thing I have which i really want to get rid of it. Main reason is that I really do want to have great friends and meet new people. Hi bye or the ones that'll stay for a long time. And because of this problem, I nearly lost a good friendship if weren't for a few people that encouraged me to fix that problem and likewise, my motivation to change for the better...

Another fear that i have is the fact that we're all not gonna be walking on the same path the whole way. thing is, no matter what we do or how hard we try, we are gonna take our different roads. Then we'll be too busy to actually say hi to each other or we'll go to some other place which happens to be too far and without knowing or realising it...forget...and walk like we were never a part of each other's life. I hate that T T.

Yes, among all the fears I have, these two fears are the worse ones I have. Relationship and Friendship...looked so simple from my point of view...why is it so hard to comprehand then?

whoa all in 30 minutes...

played with fire at
11/04/2008 01:56:00 PM

Monday, November 3, 2008

random photo upload XD.